He is more than his bulging biceps

jpolarman @ 2008-09-04T09:17:00

2008-09-04T16:40:31Z

Goodbye!

Relocated.
jpoelman.wordpress.com

Jared's Weaking Will To Blog vs. The Deadly Poison of Apathy & Indolence

2008-08-30T22:11:29Z

A brief summary of yesterday:

AM Friday Morning

4:40: Cell Phone begins to vibrate like a possessed vibrating maniac. I remember why it does this and pacify it. In moments, I am sleeping like a baby again.

8:Something: Phone call from Belinda, who is done with class. We talk for 10 minutes, and she heads into a library, presumably go to sleep. I also go to sleep.

9:00: Get up, eat Resee's Pieces for breakfast, read a chapter each from 'The Odyssey' and 'Human Legacies of the Kamikaze.' Reading Kamikaze stories does not bring a particularly cheery mood to a summer's morning. The fact that it's already 80+ degrees brings less cheeriness. In fact, the only cheery thing I can think of is the fact that winter is closer than it was yesterday.

10:17: Depart humble abode to go shopping for college with mother. First stop, Office Depot.

10:4: Realizing that Office Depot has 1/5 of what I want for 5/1 the price, we depart to Target.

10:56: While walking from the car to Target, I look to the heavens and discover that the our venerable medium-sized yellow sun is in an incredibly bad mood. I bow to it in deference, and the temperature instantly rises by 12 degrees. Without any further attempt at appeasement, I run into the relative safety of the department store.

11:22: At Target, we buy an incredible amount of medicine and related equipment. I calculate that we have purchased enough medical products to run a small town hospital for 7 months.

11:44: Why is it so freaking hard to find Twin XL sheets!?!? I finally settle on the white one (other choices were Hot Pink and Colorful Polka Dots), which is, if nothing else, a useful way to prove to people that you do not wet the bed. Cause I don't. Anyways.

PM

12:00 People entering Target from the outside world show evidence of second-degree burns.

1:50: We check out, and my mom is hoping that the price she sees on the register is a heat-induced hallucination. It is not.

1:53: Finished with Target, we walk into the parking lot. We notice the misshapen corpses of melted cars. Luckily, ours is still functional, though we have to use flame-retardant gloves to touch its surface. I turn the A/C to its maximum and point 3 vents directly into my face.

2:57: Blinded by sweat, I nearly cause an accident. Luckily, since the tires are melting into the asphalt, the grip is incredible, and I am able to swerve out of the situation. I begin to wonder what the melting point for iron is, and fear for the engine.

3:07: Back at Office Depot to get a file cabinet, I discover a $29.99 First Aid Kit that has almost everything we already bought. I surmise that it is illegal to return medical products.

3:20: We are at the mall to buy college items from Daiso. I buy a bike lock.

4:46: We go to Taco Bell for once. Due to McDonalds thinking outside the bun and making that new Chicken Snack Wrap, I decide that Taco Bell has become redundant.

5:15: We are at EVHS to pick up Thomas.

5:50: We are still at EVHS to pick up Thomas.

5:52: I see Thomas and his friend Alan Chow and struggle mightily to hold back the urge to run them over.

6:02-7:20: I finish up my resume. I don't see how in the world it would help me get any sort of job, besides maybe private tuba teacher. I feel depressed about the meaninglessness of my life so far. Then, I practice piano. For some reason, the darker songs sound more pleasing to my ear. I walk outside and to my horror, the water in the birdbath is boiling away.

7:30: Bike ride with Don. Don notifies me of Ross Morgan's new CD, then blesses me with such wisdom as

"Girls are fleeting, but God is forever."

"Anyone who wants to enter will have to fight Nishal Gupta in a cage with a curry-slicked floor"

8:25: Upon return, I decide to play more piano. I realize I don't sound very good today, so I punish my fingers and neighbors by slamming loud chords out of my poor piano.

9:30-10:30: Read about Dice-K, then aimlessly wander the internet. The temperature in my room drops below three digits again, and I can hear my cat meowing with pleasure as he discovers that just for today, his rodent dinner has been pre-cooked.

11:30: Call Belinda, stupefied that she is still up and it is 1:30am in St. Louis.

11:37: Say goodbye, and realize that over the past week, I may have slept twice as long as her.

AM

2:02: Win a grueling battle with insomnia. Another lovely, long, day in the bag.

Thus my summer continues...

Today:

Run with Leland. Swap stories about our convoluted love lives.
Give Jen my black concert shirt.
Play GT4 and get A-License.
Lunch with church Missionaries.
SJSU Game.

--------------
ADIOZ

In Honor of ... NINGEN!!!!

2008-08-27T04:42:00Z

Thank You, Digg!

HUMANS (MUST ALL BE DESTROYED)

ROFL for those who get it.

*points*

Looking Ahead!

2008-08-27T02:46:36Z

In the 21 days since my latest post, an impressive number of things have occurred, I'm sure. However, in my current stupor, it would be most unfortunate to attempt to recall them all.

Many people are already in college, Old Cougars making their fortunes abroad as Young Bears, Spartans, SFSU Gators, etc. So good luck to them, and to the rest of us soon to be Bruins, Gauchos, Tritons, and ... uhh. 'Dartmouth Big Greens.' Go '08

Upcoming events that fill my heart with great excitement and ardor:

1. Stanford vs. Oregon State - Aug. 28

This is the season/home-opener for the glorious Cardinal 2008-9 football season!! If my school would give me a stupid student ID, I could actually go!! Few things would incense me more than having to pay $100 to watch the Big Game because i didn't have enough cheesy 'loyalty-points' accumulated.

2. Intramural Sports - School Year

Since the demise of PE (rest in peace) sophomore year, my athletic life has been a depressing combination of marching band (which is fun but not much of a sport) and track (which is a sport but not much fun). Perhaps these fabled weekly sporting events will restore balance to my sporting well-being.

3. Wind Ensemble - School Year

Did I waste my senior year playing euphonium? Maybe not, but I certainly would have enjoyed it more had I been playing Clark's gift to music, the Tuba. Once again armed with my favored axe, I hope to more fully enjoy the musical outlets available at school, aka wind ensemble, jazz band, and orchestra.

Not Much of an Update. More to come!!

For Your Safety

2008-08-05T20:06:52Z

I came across this while on Digg this morning:

WHAT STUDIES SAY ABOUT YOUR SOUNDS:

POP: Conformists, overly responsible, role-conscious, struggling with sexuality or peer acceptance.

HEAVY METAL: Higher levels of suicidal ideation, depression, drug use, self-harm, shoplifting, vandalism, unprotected sex.

DANCE: Higher levels of drug use regardless of socio-economic background.

JAZZ/RHYTHM & BLUES: Introverted misfits, loners.

RAP: Higher levels of theft, violence, anger, street gang membership, drug use and misogyny.

After reading, I couldn't help but wonder: Which type of music would actually tend to make someone a better person?

Obviously, it couldn't be country music, because country music makes normal people suicidal, or at least incites the uncontrollable rage typical of extreme annoyance levels. Let's face it, all of Carrie Underwood's beauty, grace, and charm couldn't get most people to actually listen to one of her albums.

Classical music isn't the answer either. Most likely, classical music listeners would be lumped in with the jazz group, except probably even lonelier. Those forced to endure classical music of their own doing are generally Asians, which would lead to a whole new array of psychological issues.

Pseudo-classical and crossover music seems viable at first, with such talented and uplifting artists as Josh Groban leading the way, until you realize that one of his songs is entitled, "Don't Give Up." This, song, which Groban sings with gravitas and and almost religious dedication, would imply a series of mental health issues within the expected audience.

Another branch of pseudo-classical, the wind band idiom, is less promising than crossover. For one, who actually listens to concert band music? A few sketchy reports notwithstanding, we are forced to assume that everyone who listens to concert band music is actually in a concert band. And everyone knows that a band is a group of highly troubled individuals if there ever was one.

Rock is another large genre that is not represented in the above chart. It's true, no one even knows what 'rock' music is anymore - but it's safe to assume that 'rock' falls somewhere in between the 'pop' and 'heavy metals' categories, and thus, rock listeners will be afflicted by a combination of the same conditions that affect listeners of the two other groups.

Indie listeners will proudly assert that their genre uniquely promotes mental and spiritual well-being. When one considers that Indie music is actually glorified pop music, this claim falls flat. If the blog of a typical indie listener is read (they do blog a lot), the tempting conclusion is that the symptoms associated with pop music are even more pronouced among this group.

Hip-Hop listeners were cited in the survey as being less troublesome than the other groups. However, what is the discerning young person supposed to do when their local radio station is a 'Rap & Hip-Hop' station? What if that station adds other potentially unhealthy genres such as 'Soul' or 'R&B' to the mix? How is one supposed to know when the music being played is 'Hip-Hop' only, unadultered by the psychologically devastating 'Rap'? Because no one knows what Hip-Hop actually is, it is hard to name it as the solution, especially since it might not even exist.

The determined person, keen on self-development, may go off in a search for other genres, such as 'Folk' or 'International', but based on the troubling results found so far, such a course could prove dangerous, or even fatal. Thus, we come to the only rational conclusion:

Music is Unhealthy.

There is a catch, however. If one chooses to shun music entirely, they will be ostracized by every single group mentioned above, making the aficionado of 'Blissful Silence' about as popular as the average 'Jazz' listener. This in itself is inherently unhealthy. Also, by opening their ears to the influence of the world around them, the fan of 'Blissful Silence' becomes vulnerable to attack from any genre of music in existence in a phenomenom dubbed 'Second-hand Listening.' The combination of negative effects wrought upon such an inadvertently diverse listener could be devastating.

Therefore, we come to our second conclusion

No Music is Unhealthy.

---

In an effort to turn this dangerous Catch 22 on its heels, musicians have recently begun attempting to create music that does not kill off its listeners; however, a useful solution is still considered hundreds of years away.

An initially promising project that mixed Enya with the Mormon Tabernacle Choir caused mice to fall asleep for 20 years at a time, and was abandoned due to failed attempts at waking them up ealier.

A rare spark of hope appeared when the freshly minted 'British-Soul' genre hit the scene. However, recent developments have been quite disappointing as the musicians themselves, noteworthily Amy Winehouse, began killing themselves off.

Deprived of hopeful signs, many industry analysts have turned their attention to 'Mariachi' music, usually heard emating from Toyota pickups carrying migrant workers. Attempts to quantify the happiness of these workers has so far fallen flat as none of them can speak English. Other genres that have been the focus of much study of late include 'Ice-Cream-Truck', 'Doorbell', and 'Ringtone.' Researchers are hoping for verdicts on these genres within the next few decades.

One musicologist, in despair, poked out his eardrums last week. When given a sheet of paper that asked for an explanation, he wrote, 'I thought music would make me happy, but it has brought me nothing but pain. This is the only sure way of banishing it from my life, forever.'

Many have criticized this move as 'rash', 'premature', and 'extreme', but a few industry insiders have revealed that this has not been an isolated case, in fact, many are considering doing it themselves. In a reaction to these events, the Federal Government has recommended that elementary and middle schools across the country hold 'Music-Free Weeks', where students would wear ribbons that signaled their commitment to mental health and appropriate social behavior.

----

My dearest readers and friends, as a conscientious member of society, I felt it my duty to warn you of the dangers of music. Remember, only YOU can prevent societal breakdown and personal disorders...

Choose Wisely.

Wok & Roll

2008-08-03T01:33:44Z

Taifoon.

Gourmet Chinese Buffet (Plus American Buffet).

...

Aren't Utah Asian Restaurateurs clever? (Actually, for the record, there is a Vietnamese district somewhere around South Jordan with some straight-outta Tully strip malls.)

So here's the recap!

[In honor of Utah's obsession with ice cream, a daily junk food account will be kept)

Thursday July 24:

All 5 family members accounted for, we head out on the long and treacherous journey to the fabled Beehive State. That night, we dine at Wendies and Dairy Queen, and feeling suitably sick, pull in for the night at a Super 8 in the lovely municipality of Fernley, Nevada.

Ice Cream Consumed: Dairy Queen Thin Mint Blizzard, Wendies Frosty (And we haven't even reached Utah yet...)
Ice Cream Supplements: goldfish crackers, Salt & Vinegar Lays, tortilla chips

---

Friday July 25:

While driving through Nevada, I finish reading "The Blind Side."

Remember 'A Wrinkle in Time'? Somewhere around Lovelock, I decide that Nevada would be a great place for a tessarect.

We arrive gloriously around 6 pm, and head to a church bbq put on by my uncle's congregation at a local park. Thomas and I, in a fit of loneliness, isolation, and awkwardness, begin throwing a football at each others' heads. After suffering a proportional amount of brain damage, we spend the rest of the evening on the swingset.

Ice Cream Consumed: None
Ice Cream Substitutes: 5 chocolate chip cookies, 3 macadamia nut cookies, cake

---

Saturday July 26:

This becomes a day of all-American manliness at the Christensen home. The old Mike Check of Jive Theory fame bows early to visit his girlfriend in Provo.

So the rest of us (Thomas, Bryan, Justio, Rile, Snake) proceed to complete a plethora of manly activities including, but not limited to:
football, soccer, baseball, basketball, mountain biking, wrestling, working out, ping-pong, eating BBQ, eating lasagna, eating trail mix, watching MMA, watching baseball, and jumping on a trampoline.

I still have a few scars from this day. There was a mighty thunderstorm around 6 that seemed to signal Clark's auspicious approval of this day of manhood.

Ice Cream Consumed: Still None (darn it, all the ice cream so far was eaten in freaking Nevada!)
Ice Cream Substitute: Chips Ahoy
Fruits and Vegetables of the Day: None. Men don't eat fruits or vegetables. Well, except watermelon and lemonade.

---

Sunday July 27:

We go to church, where my uncle is ordained to a rather important post. My cousins are there, and I learn that they have taken in an exchange student from Spain, a 15 year-old girl named Victoria. She is actually quite gorgeous. After church, while waiting for administrative things to occur, Thomas and I chat with her in Spanglish.

Later, I tell Thomas that he should try to marry her.

That night, we have a giant family gathering to celebrate my grandma's 50th wedding anniversary (provided her husband was alive.) That part was a bit depressing, but I actually had a great time with my cousins. Most of them are under 10 years old (which also means that I encountered my first YuGiYoh cards in years) so we really end up relating on a variety of levels.

Ice Cream Consumed: 2 Bowls of Cookies and Cream, a spoonful of a caramel-laced flavor.

---

Monday July 28:

Thomas is now gone to EFY. In my first day of solitude, I sit around the house, read "Field Notes From a Catastrophe", and start "I Hope They Serve Beer in Hell." I actually like the first one a whole lot better, because Tucker gets old in like 50 pages. [Though I think his influence can be seen in the style of this post.]

We have dinner at the cousin's house where Victoria is staying. I play some piano for them, and so does she, who can also play. My cousin Cameron tells me of his attempts to get his Eagle Project approved by the stingy Pleasant Grove, Utah Eagle Board. I realize that if I lived in Pleasant Grove, I would not be an Eagle Scout.

My other cousin Laura describes life at BYU. She thinks that the BYU-Utah football rivalry is overblown. Cameron interjects, expounding his hatred of the Utes and all things U of U. I wonder if I will ever hate Cal like this.

Ice Cream Consumed: 3 bowls of vanilla ice cream and fudge from Pleasant Grove Library's 20th Anniversary Party.

----

Tuesday July 29:

I spend the morning cleaning my grandma's house (she moved to a retirement place), and the afternoon doing other things I have since forgotten.

Ice Cream Consumed: Blue Bunny Ice Cream Sandwich from Maverick's Gas Station

----

Wednesday July 30:

We hike up Grandeur Peak (8,299') and then back down, a total of 6 miles. Thin Utah Air does not agree with my Sea Level Trained Respiratory System. Big Utah Snake does not agree with my Hamster Trained Sister. At the top, to go along with the spectacular views of the Salt Lake Valley, is like 200,000 bugs. I am not amused.

We go to our uncle's house to clean up ourselves.

Then, we decide to go shopping at a mall near downtown Salt Lake City.

I begin to feel like I'm at Oakridge. The stores are ALL the SAME.

At American Eagle, a fitting room girl who looks Asian asks me if I'm half-Asian. I say yes. She says, what kind? I say Japanese. She is the same race(s) as me! I begin to notice her subtle 'white traits.'

I find out that she goes to BYU ('11), did marching band in high school (mello), her parents met the same way (church mission), and is considerably better than me at Japanese. I think she is also more outgoing. Since Wasian brother/sisterhood is universal, I am happy to have met her.

Then, we go to Target, and I buy pencils.

Ice Cream Consumed: Chocolate Cow
Ice Cream Supplements: 2 homemade cookies, 2 varieties of Keebler cookies, rasberry jello-like item

----

Thursday July 31:

A waste of a day. Think: home furnishing store, Utah dmv, Costco, retirement home, Clayton Middle School, Murray High School (to see David Archuleta's high school, wtf!?!?!), and you get the idea.

Ice Cream Consumed: 2 Swirl shakes from Costco.
Fruits and Vegetables of the Day: Costco Berry Smoothie, toppings on Costco Pizza

----

Friday August 1:

Today we wake up, all four surviving family members accounted for, and head out towards San Jose around 7:30 am (8:30 Utah Time). This time, yours truly is the driver, having gained much experience under his belt throughout the past week in Utah.

10 a.m.: We stop at Bonneville Salt Flats. I get some salt for Belinda.

2 p.m.: As we hurtle through the horrid desert at 80 mph, A gust of wind tries to destroy our Toyota Sienna and insteads suceeds in shattering my nerves.

3 pm: During a pisstop, er, pitstop, in Elko, I wander into the casino section of a hotel. Some guy asks me if I'm 21. I say yes. He tells me to go stand in the lobby or the arcade. I get sad.

4 pm: My parents ask if I am getting drowsy. I supress a yawn and shake my head no.

5:30 pm: The Sierra-Nevada provides a particularly enjoyable driving environment. My dad does not prove a particularly agreeable driving companion. I reduce my speed.

9:30 pm: 14 hours, 1 piece of anti-Mormon literature, and 2 near-death experiences later, we pull into our humble ranch house in San Jose. The defining "Welcome Back to East San Jose" moment was provided when I saw a man wizzing in a bush outside of Savemart.

Ice Cream Consumed: Arctic Circle Hot Fudge Sundae
Ice Cream Supplements: Keebler cookies, french fries, Salt & Vinegar Lays

----

Saturday August 2:

Home, I proceed to finish the chronicles of Tucker Max, wash my mom's van, get attacked by a swarming mass of ants, turn up the garden hose so high it goes out of control and drenches me, spend an hour fixing my bike's flats, and go back an hour later to find both tires flat again.

Ice Cream Consumed (so far): Fudgesicle
Ice Cream Supplements: Keebler, Dove chocolates

----

[note: many dates and events are probably mixed around, but this is the best I could come up with]

All in all, a trip much better than I had been expecting, but still, nothing beats home.. except for when I found out how much Daisuke Matsuzaka sucked in his latest outing. WTH YO!!!!!

Ahh! No post deserves this much time.
Adios

YOUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUtah

2008-07-23T19:08:46Z

While on my morning rampage of destroying humans, I noticed that tomorrow is the day I'm doomed to head to Utah for 7-10 ignoble days of boredom, depression, and hopelessness.

Though I will bring piano music, books, mp3 players, cell phones, running shoes, and other vigilantes against malaise, only Clark can detect the passing of time in the dark abyss known as Midvale, Utah.

How will this epic battle pan out!?!?

Jared (+entertainment power ups) vs. Immobilizing Inactivity

If I have access to a computer (probably), it will make survival much more likely.

Bring it on Salt Lake City!!!!!!!!!!!!

---------

Lately, I am in a stage of deciding which team I shall prefer for the rest of my life, the Oakland A's or the San Francisco Giants. My other major sporting preferences are generally set (49ers, Sharks, Jazz, Warriors, Stanford, SJSU, Utah, the Pac-10, the WAC.)

But neither the Giants nor the A's have made solid claims on my loyalty. For a while, I preferred the Giants, but Barry Bonds ruined it for me. So, here are the pros and cons.

Giants Fan:

Pros: San Francisco is cooler than Oakland, good young pitching staff, Rivalry with LA Dodgers, CALtrain access, pretty stadium

Cons: Ugly team colors, Barry Bonds stigma, crappy National League, mediocre team, mediocre team culture, never won a championship in SF

A's Fan:

Pros: Oakland is more gangster than SF, Rivalry with LAA, prestigious American League, pitching staff, always a decent team, championships

Cons: never an amazing team, all good players get traded, playoff woes, no conection with Oakland, incredibly boring offense

hmm. The decision making goes on.

----------

I want my new laptop soon.
Driving is, like, so easy. Kinda.
When is colegio gonna start already!?!?!
I need to wake up earlier.

--------

......

This entry is starting to have self-worth issues, so it's going to go rethink its existence for a bit.

Adios!

Lening is a Human!!!!!

2008-07-23T06:04:58Z

hahaha

My great Day

2008-07-23T05:21:44Z

HEYYYY guys!!! This is Belinda. I just wanna take the time to say that Jared and I did.....something FUNNN TODAY!!! Wow, I never thought that Jared would have the guts to....well, haha. HAHA, I hope Lening doesn't find out!! Or he'll be SOOOOOO jealous. In any case, I finally..... beat Lening at something Jared related!! IN YOUR FACE LENING!!!! =DDD Anyways guys, I gotta go. Jared's waiting...ya know what I'm sayin? ;)

-XOXOXO
Belinda

Anthropology

2008-07-17T06:42:15Z

Thousands of years ago, Japan was connected to mainland Asia by an ice bridge. People from Tibet, Siberia, Mongolia, and Southeastern Asia crossed it and established an early civilization, known as Jomon. Eventually, the ice bridge melted away, but the civilization continued on.

Around 300-400 B.C.E., Chinese and Koreans traveled to Japan on boats and began to exert considerable influence, a time which came to be known as the Yayoi Period. Throughout the following centuries, Chinese culture became a dominant force in Japan. (stuff like rice farming, Confucian ideals, Taoism, etc.)

Today, the people of Japan are a mix of the two groups, an East Asian alphabet soup.

So, while learning all this in a recent Wikipedia trip, I stumbled upon this picture - which supposedly has two girls that are representative looks of the two cultures (including dress.)

Original Site: http://www.kahaku.go.jp/english/exhibitions/ueno/special/jomonvsyayoi/index.html
(Advertisement for a related event at National Science Museum in Tokyo)

*EDIT*

I think that there are a few implications in this picture.

1. Japanese people want to feel unique by emphasizing their native culture, which is to a large degree gone.

2. They are also somewhat poking fun at the Chinese/Koreans by making the girl on the left cuter than the one on the right.

3. When people think about Japanese people, people automatically think of the person on the right (perhaps leading to #1.)

4. This being Japan, the models are invariably female.

But mostly I thought the girl on the left was really cute.

----
Thoughts?

New Layout! Yay! (since people care)

2008-07-15T05:40:32Z

RIP Utah Jazz Color Scheme.

---

To all of you who mistakenly believed my previous post to be a realistic depiction of my thought process before starting an entry, here is my response:

In reality, the thought process is quite more complex. Infinitely more. In fact, if you extract every 5th letter starting from the first 't' in the first entry and move in reverse chronological order, you can discover the meaning of life as well as the essay Clark wrote for the California High School Exit Exam. (Here's a hint: they're the same.)

This, my friends, is the hidden raison d'etre of livejournal.com/users/jpolarman.

And now you know!

------
adiose

It's Over 9,000!!!!!!

2008-07-14T19:29:15Z

Guess who's back? Back again?

Jared's back! He's not dead!

---

There is nothing that serves as a better wake up call to improve your life when you haven't blogged for several days, you open up the 'post' page, and your mind goes as blank as the lovely white box that patiently waits for you to insert beautifully-detailed memoirs of unique and notable past activities.

No. I can't just give up again...

I must write. I must write entertaining things, quirky things, funny things, sarcastic things - I need to bolster my waning confidence in myself as a blogger. I need to make fun of myself so deftly that people think I'm cool. I need to hyperbolize and understatetify so that people are convinced I have a sense of humor. I must write of the coolest thing I did in the last 12 months to give others a tiny glimpse into the ocean of my hipness. I must utilize the most elaborate vocabulary possible in order to enlighten my readers on the incomparable depths of my intelligence and undying sophistication! To make sure the readers don't find me arrogant, I must then make fun of myself again so that people now think that I'm sophisticated, smart, and cool!! I must insert an obscure yet clever image that will convince people I visit awesome websites!! I must write the cleverest, cutest answers to all the surveys! I must praise myself so outrageously that people think I'm hilariously ironic!! I must inundate my entries with so many pop-culture references, inside jokes, and oblique references that people will be convinced they didn't catch them all, and therefore do not measure up to my level of coolness!! And this is not yet enough!!!

I must post ... The One Entry, to RULE THEM ALL!!!!!!!

----
----

Ok. I'm out of ideas.

So, this past week has been rather interesting. By my very own self, I took down the old chandelier in my dining room and installed a new one. This has been a source of inextinguishable pride to me every day as I stare at the beautiful new fixture in my parent's house and think to myself, "It was me!" A wiring job that would take an electrician 30 seconds. Heavy lifting that wouldn't make a construction worker blink. Pliers and screwdrivers that I shouldn't have unsupervised access to. Three hours when it should have taken one. And, in the end, a wondrous addition to the ambiance of my home. So, was it worth it? Heck no!

Life Lesson #1:
Get money to pay people to do stuff you don't want to.

Life Lesson #2:
Jared would fail as a mechanical engineer.

Life Lesson #3:
Jared would also fail as a construction worker or electrical engineer.

Another interesting thing happened to me. I cleaned my room. It took 3 hours.

Life Lesson #1:
Clean your room more often, idiot.

Life Lesson #2:
There's nothing like a clean room.

Life Lesson #3:
Most things are just asking to be thrown away.

And yesterday, the most interesting thing of all happened. I had such a splitting headache, I couldn't sleep until 3 in the morning. (I had tried to go to bed at 12:15.)

Life Lesson #1:
Don't ever eat 25+ cookies at a church activity ever again. EVER.

Life Lesson #2:
Sitting on the toilet inexplicably provides temporary headache relief.

Life Lesson #3:
Avoid headaches.

--------

Disclaimer:

These 9 life lessons are merely suggestions and not recommendations or endorsements of any specific lifestyle or practice. Accidents, injuries, or death resulting from living in a way suggested by Jared is not covered by the Standard Blog Reader's Plan. To obtain such coverage, please upgrade to the Platinum Reader's Plan starting at $48,900/week. For more information, contact the J Polarman Department of Homepage Security.

--------

*Absolute Absurdity Level Breached*
*Blog Terminated*

A Few Paragraphs

2008-07-09T05:08:59Z

Okay, it has been too long without a post. Before summer, I knelt before my stone-graven image of Clark and promised him that this summer would be different, this summer, I would lift my blog out of depressed obscurity and into the flowering prosperity of constant updates and quality content.

Clark, I am here to apologize.

*Dodges lightning bolt*

This summer so far has been remarkable for many reasons. I feel that it is a shame that the time I get closer to many individuals is the final opportunity I will have to be with a number of them.

I haven't gotten a job, nor made a truly worthwhile attempt to get one. I still buy music, and can't resist buying extra food when I'm out. One day, I'll get woken up to the cruel harsh world of financial realities. It's a shame that the cost of my tuition and the cost of my day to day activities are so skewed that I can never really get up the motivation to be frugal. What's $41,583.97 compared to $41,566.67 when I can have a t-shirt or two?

Really, I can't write much more. I called my brain, and it says to try back in 2009. I remind it that school starts in September. Then it just flips me off.

...

That's just cold.

----
ok. more to come.

Kuiz

2008-06-19T20:08:04Z

1. How old will you be in five years?
23.. 25% done with life!

2. Who did you spend at least two hours with today?
I haven't been awake 2 hours to tell the truth

3. How tall are you?
5′11.10883453654635392893″

4. What do you look forward to most in the next six weeks?
Hanging out with friends. Studying Japanese again. Working? Driving. Continue decompressing from high school.

5. What’s the last movie you saw?
Kung FWOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO Panda. I think guys end up liking it more...

6. Who is the last person you called?
Jen Cho?

7. Who was the last person to call you?
My mom "Jared, has the driver drunk any alcohol?"

8. What was the last text message you received?
from chelsea about tomorrow

9. Do you prefer to call or text?
One Call Away - Chingy

10. Do you have any pets?
Toby - Burmese Tiger, watchcat
Goldfish #1: Retired Washington University in St. Louis Physicist currently theorizing on the mechanics of fluids in a bowl-like container.
Goldfish #2: MIT Physics fellow currently pursuing advanced studies in buoyancy.

11. What were you doing at 12am last night?
watching Nina's car get jump started?

12. Are your parents married/separated/divorced?
Married

13. When is the last time you saw your mom?
1-2 hours ago

14. When is the last time you saw your dad?
Yesterday

15. What time did you wake up today?
11:20 ... it gets later every day >_>

16. What are you wearing right now?
Light blue shirt, Bball shorts

17. Whats your favorite Christmas song?
Carol of the Bells

18. Where is your favorite place to be?
Anywhere with the right people. Except Iraq.

19. Where is your least favorite place to be?
Outside when it's too hot

20. Where would you go if you could go anywhere?
right here

21. Where do you think you’ll be in 10 years?
A cool job, a cool wife/family?, a cool car, a huge collection of music, maybe a master's degree. That would be nice right? Let's see what happens.

22. Do you tan or burn?
I'm multitalented

23. What did you fear was going to get you at night as a child?
A guy with a gun

24. What was the last thing that made you laugh?
Jerel's blog was about something called Flight of the Conchords, so I went to Youtube, and it was indeed pretty ridiculous.

25. How many TVs do you have in your house?
TWOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!

26. How big is your bed?
Twin. Why, Shiva!?

27. Do you have a laptop or desktop computer?
Desktop. But I forsee a laptop in the near future.

28. Do you sleep with or without clothes on?
With

29. What color are your sheets?
I don't really remember. And I'm not checking. But something tells me they're blue.

30. How many pillows do you sleep with?
Two. Neither are all that great. One is Oakland Raiders themed.

31. What is your favorite season?
Winter. Except there's too much laundry during winter.

32. What do you like about fall?
The atmosphere, the leaves. College Football!!!!!!!!!!!!!

33. What do you like about winter?
The friendly California cold. Christmas break.

34. What do you like about the summer?
Being with friends for hours at a time.

35. What do you like about spring?
Perfect Weather, school almost ending

36. How many states have you lived in?
Zero.

37. What cities/towns have you lived in?
Specifically, the 408!!

38. Do you prefer shoes, socks, or bare feet?
I love socks. but I love bare feet too. Good answer by Chelsea. Bare feet more lately, gotta beat that sock tan!

39. Are you a social person?
Sometimes.

40. What was the last thing you ate?
An apple, oddly enough.

41. What is your favorite restaurant?
Its a showdown: Fresh Choice vs. Todai (they have one thing in common though....)

42. What is your favorite ice cream?
Those fancy chocolate ones with caramel, twix, oreos, idk. Those ones.

43. What is your favorite dessert?
My mom's cookies (cement-free)

44. What is your favorite kind of soup?
Ramen.. is that soup?

45.What kind of jelly do you like on your PB & J sandwich?
Whatever's on hand. Peach is pretty darn good.

46. Do you like Chinese food?
You mean Taiwanese food? Sure.

47. Do you like coffee?
Wouldn't know

48. How many glasses of water, a day, do you drink on average?
Not enough, most likely.

49. What do you drink in the morning?
Nothing yet. (see 48.)

50. Would you rather sleep with someone else or alone?
This is a question with too many implications to answer straight.

51. Do you sleep on a certain side of the bed?
It's a twin. I'm on all sides at once.

52. Do you know how to play poker?
noo

53. Do you like to cuddle?
Uh.. It's probably not so bad

54. Have you ever been to Canada?
Montreal, Toronto, Vancouver.

55. Do you have an addictive personality?
No. I would say it's an acquired taste

56. Do you eat out or at home more often?
home :(

58. Do you know anyone with the same birthday as you?
Ashi, Jeffery Nguyen, Candice's sister. FB is great!

59. Do you want to have kids?
at least 400,000 of them

60. Do you speak any other languages?
I'm a n00b at two, intelligible at one.

61. Have you ever gotten stitches?
Nopee

62. Have you ever ridden in an ambulance?
Probably

63. Do you prefer an ocean or a pool?
A pool is less dirty. But the ocean has those views... so it's a toss up

64. Do you prefer a window seat or an aisle seats?
Window

65. Do you know how to drive stick?
Haha, the last word isn't needed in the question. It's still no

66. What is your favorite thing to spend money on?
Electronics, food

67. Do you wear any jewelery 24/7?
Bling

68. What is your favorite TV show?
sports

69. Can you roll your tongue?
Yepp

70. Who is the funniest person you know?
Dean Bull, James Barany

71. Do you sleep with stuffed animals?
hahahahahaha. uhhhhhhhhhhh

72. What is the main ring tone on your phone?
Lening changed it to Touch My Body. sooo... yeah.

73. Do you still have clothes from when you were little?
A few memorable items.

74. What red object is closest to you right now?
Some pen

75. Do you turn off the water when you brush your teeth?
Yeah

76. Do you sleep with your closet doors open or closed?
closed

77. Would you rather be attacked by a big bear or a swarm of bees?
hahaha -insert UCLA/Cal/WashU joke here-

78. Do you flirt a lot?
Idk.

79. What do you dip a chicken nugget in?
Honey Mustard

80. What is your favorite food?
Ice Cream

81. Can you change the oil on a car?
Not yet

82. Have you ever gotten a speeding ticket?
No!

83. Have you ever run out of gas?
No!

84. What is your usual bedtime?
12

85. What was the last book you read?
And Still We Rise

86. Do you read the newspaper?
yep

87. Do you have any magazine subscriptions?
Car & Driver <3333333333

88. Favorite comedian?
Hard Gay

89. Do you watch soap operas?
nahhh

90. Do you dance in the car?
ON TOP OF IT! HYPHY!

91. What radio station did you last listen to?
94.9 in Nina's gangsta Civic

92. Who is in the picture frame closest to you?
My dad's patent. lol

93. What was the last note you scribbled on a piece of paper?
Belinda's phone number.

94. What is your favorite candle scent?
Unlit.

95. What is your favorite board game?
Chess

96. Where do you attend church?
Mormon

97. When was the last time you attended church?
Sunday

98. Who was your favorite teacher in high school?
Barnhill, Nguyen, Marshall, Marfia, Hubbs, Lubbs

99. What is the longest you have ever camped out in a tent?
A WHOLE FREAKIN’ WEEK.

100. Does your stomach hurt right now?
No but it should considering what I ate before going to sleep (fudgesicle, chips and hot salsa, plain noodles, mint ice cream)

Three Incidents

2008-06-17T20:04:20Z

When I was 5 years old, my family went to Japan. On the airplane, a United Airlines 747, I was so bored that I began listening to the music channels that play through a jack in the armrest. After switching between channels a while, I settled on the classical channel (what a freak I was), and began reading the entertainment guide from the seat pocket in front of me. I couldn't read great, but was cognizant that what I was listening to was depicting a primeval and natural setting.

Anyways, I remembered the main melody of the song for years, and could even play it on the piano. On no particular hunt for the melody, I wondered at times if I would ever hear it again. I thought I would when I borrowed a CD of 'Rite of Spring' by Stravinsky from the library, but it wasn't even close.

Today, I finally found out which song contained the long lost melody: 'The Great Russian Easter Overture' by Rimsky-Korsakov.

I thought that was really cool. Sometimes neat things just happen.

---------

This morning I had a job interview for a sales position at Sears. That's when I found out the pay is a glorious $6.50 an hour plus commission. The maximum amount of hours I can work is 25 a week. And there are three other people trying to get the same job. I'll find out later if I got the job, but honestly, is it worth it?

I thought that was really disappointing. Sometimes crappy things just happen.

---------

About 30 minutes minutes ago, I randomly closed Firefox and left to take an Airborne, cause I have a slight cold. When I got back, there was a helpful message, courtesy of Microsoft Windows Vista, on my screen: "Firefox has stopped working." While I appreciated the thoughtfulness of the operating system to notify me that a program I had manually terminated had ceased to function, I still couldn't get the image of Bill Gates giggling hysterically to himself out of my mind.

I thought that was really stupid. Sometimes dorky things just happen.

---------
J.DGG.OUT

Crippling Drought

2008-06-16T23:18:20Z

When a person fails to blog for several consecutive weeks, one of three things inevitably occurs:

1. He/She can no longer stand the soul-starving emptiness of living life without tangible memories and makes an entry.

2. He/She feels so behind on recording life's events that he/she buckles down and writes for all he/she is worth - or simply implodes in despair.

3. The will to blog goes to zero and the blog dies, deprived forever of life-bestowing creative input.

4. Uhh.. There were only three things.

---------

So, feeling rather oppressed by phenomenons one and two, and more than a little affected by number three, today, I write.

First, I must comment how neglecting to blog affects the blogger. First and formost, there is a noticeable drought of ideas. Actually, it's as if the blog is a desert and a cactus is an idea. When one does not blog, the cacti grow and multiply and grow and multiply, until the desert becomes a cactus desert. Nothing stands out, and it's back to square one: 'wtf to write on?'

Second, there is the creeping inability to write intelligently. In a blog such as this one, with its considerable standard for quality, the pressure to write humorous and sophisticated passages is ever-present. If you have felt disappointed lately, there is reason to have hope: My editor says that - within a few years - my writing may reach "junior high school level."

---------

Anyways, uhh...

Summer's good.
Friends are (basically) good.
My brother is in summer school.
My grandma left for Utah today, after visiting for graduation.

- Oh yeah -

I graduated.
--------

(more to come)

Let's Get Baked

2008-05-17T01:53:29Z

Hey, look. School's almost out. All that we've worked for is (supposedly) coming to fruition. Having to grow up is just around the corner...

But it's so hot, that nobody cares!

----

Haikus about track practice:

"The Heat Waves"
Shimmering, compressed
air distorts the view. Thick air
reminds me of steam.

"The Water Fountain"
I have drunk gallons
Of sweet life from thee. Today
Thy bounty boileth.

"The Sun"
Nothing is hotter.
I am a yellow cake in
Satan's Easy-Bake.

"The Sweat"
In the eyes a sting.
The track shirt, but a towel.
Time to start swimming.

"The Coach"
Wearing long sweatpants,
Plus an Under Armour top.
This is inhuman.

"The Heat"
It's so freaking hot.
I'm probably going to die.
At least I want to.

"The Heat II"
Shade gives relief to
none. The thermometer has
brought us to our knees.

"The Heat III"
Dude, three whole poems.
I am not at all kidding
about this heat thang.

----

Ok, two emo posts in a row. What's going on?

Actually, in reality, friends, life goes well.

Except for the weather.

Peace up - Stay cool.

An Uplfting Quote

2008-05-12T23:51:00Z

"Sometimes, I just want to kill you guys."

-Ms Thieu, circa March.

---

One would think that, with AP testing over, it would be time for an obviously stressed teacher and her even more stressed students to take a nice long vacation heading into summer.

Instead, to my utmost horror, I go on the Loop, and see:

AttachmentAP EXAM on aplication of derivative1.doc...
AttachmentAP EXAM on aplication of derivative21.do...
AttachmentAP EXAM on aplication of derivative3.doc...
AttachmentAP EXAMon velo and dis1.doc
AttachmentAP EXAM on volume1.doc
AttachmentAP EXAMon Differentilas1.doc

---

Oh, cruelest Irony,
Thy cold hands upon my neck yet.
Why did I tempt the wind,
and take upon me a boundless scourge?
Which I had perchance thought,
would bring wisdom and skill,
and yet has brought misery and suffering
beyond comprehension of mere humans!
Students at Silver Creek,
once weeping under the exact same yoke,
are now free to bask in the sunlight of everlasting freedom,
while we Cougars wail and gnash our teeth,
in the abyss of death, drought, and pain.
Our tears fall endlessly and silently,
the torturous silence pierced,
by cries of unbounded agony...

Thieu!! In thy hands rests our fate!!
I demand, in the name of Texas Instruments,
Release us from this bondage that holds us captive,
Or a thousand rivers shall not cleanse the blood on thy hands!!
Am I a man yet, or slave?? I shall not yield!
Give me Liberty, or give me Death!!

A Mildly Unhappy Entry

2008-03-27T04:27:33Z

Jen demands a blog, thus, I blog.

Well, not too good of news to report this time around:

Today during track practice, we had our runoffs for spots on the 4x100 relay team. Having made a strong recovery from my hamstring pull of late February, I decided to join in the festivities. 4th place or better would be good enough to qualify, as there are, naturally, four slots available.

The gun went off, and so I started running. There were seven or eight young lads eager to make their fortunes on the fabled four by one team, who also charged madly out of their blocks. In a pack of youth and vitality we rushed towards the finish line, passion flaming in the heart of each young man. Dainty track maidens on the sidelines fainted.

Due to immense intake of sour gummy bears, I had the necessary chemical reactions going in my legs to propel me beyond my adversaries and, at the finish line, was in, depending on the witness, second or third place.

A glorious victory!

Except for the fact that about a meter after I crossed the finish line, my right hamstring exploded in a fit of fury and ferocity!

So then, O Wounded Soldier me sat bleakly, staring at runners #1, #2-3?, #4, and #5 practice hand-offs for the four by one team, wondering what had happened to my once shining future in high school track and field.

My season is effectively over.

A hard pill to swallow.

----

Then, I got home, and decided to pursue my patriotic duty of homework. Unfortunately for my fragile mood and my throbbing leg, my fate was to research the atomic bomb droppings of WWII.

Thus I sat, reading tragic Kamikaze pilot memoirs and graphic descriptions of unimaginable human suffering, all while listening to Mahler's dark sixth symphony, and going through a box of tissues a minute.

Later, I commenced on a mission to find engaging activities for a crippled person.

Eventually, I could be found on the floor reading philosophy out of the freaking Norton Reader, existential crises in full blow, hamstring loudly announcing its dissatisfaction with its current condition every time I shifted.

Luckily, this bleakness came to an end with a delicious dinner cooked by my favorite mum.

----

so...

I hope, O Treasured Reader, that your day far exceeded mine.

I hope that my leg stops hurting soon.

I wish you little homework and lots of relaxation.

and, I apologize for all the dreariness.

*throws up a D*

Kwiz (aka not Calculus hw)

2008-02-27T04:09:45Z

Pilfered from Shelly:

1. Give me a random lyric from the song you're listening to:
"I moved out of the hood for good, you blame me?"

2. Do you think you're approachable?
No, I hope not!

3. How do you feel about the person you kissed last?
Alan Zhao's mom? Hmm...

4. Do you regret doing anything this week?
Eating 20+ girl scout cookies.

5. Last awkward moment:
My life hahahaha

6. Name three things everyone knows about you:
I'm in band, My last name is Poelman, My favorite cheese is String.

7. What are you missing?
What Shelly says about moolah is very profound. People-wise? There are a few I'd like to talk to, I guess.

8. What do you do when a telemarketer calls?
Buy whatever it is they're selling

9. Name someone you know whose name begins with a B?
Bahn Lam, HANH!?

10. Would you cry if you found out you were pregnant?
Yes ! O_O; -- I'll leave this answer the way it came.

11. Have you been pressured to do anything recently?
Calculus hw. I'm saving it for after dinner.

12. Do you think the concept of phone sex is stupid?
If siblings got a line in on the call, it could make for some immense blackmails, I suppose.

13. How many kids do you want? Boys/Girls?
Uh, 3 or less. Probably less. No preference on their sex. Whatever they decide to be!

14. Name something you wouldn't want to buy used:
Toilet Paper. eeeeeeewwww~! (sorry)

15. What makes you happy at this moment?
Exciting events coming up! NY, track meets, graduation, etc.

16. What color are your eyes?
Black like the endless abyss that is my soul...
Actually, they're brown.

18. What side of the bed do you sleep on?
Since I have a tiny twin bed, I don't get to pick sides. I'm just on it.

19. Do you like your significant other to be aggressive or passive?
A ragingly sardonic, borderline neurotic girl would suit me best.
Honestly, a mix of both is best.

20. Would you rather go camping or to a five star hotel?
I'd rather go to Fresh Choice.

21. When did you last cry?
When I got home, and someone had eaten all the rest of the Girl Scout Cookies.

22. Have you kissed anyone in your top friends?
I don't know who they are so I don't know. But I can say no with a 99.86% certainty.

23. What's your worst habit?
Blogging instead of doing homework

24. Last time you worked?
23 minutes ago. Bankage.

26. If you could own a non-traditional pet what would it be?
A human.

27. Would you rather feel pain or be numb?
PAAAINNNN ..... BUUURRRNNNN *cuts wrists*

29. Do you find it easier to forgive or forget?
forgive. Forgetting isn't much of a choice.

30. Would you ever stay with someone just because you didn't want to break their heart?
Getting heartbroken is part of the human experience. (PAAAAAIINN!!!!) It'd be morally wrong to stay in a relationship like that, and unhealthy too. Come on now.

31. Have you ever taken anyone/anything for granted?
Heck yeah. Thomas, go get me another soda.

32. Do you hate being alone?
I relish it.

33. Has anyone ever broken your heart?
Too many to name. Anna Nguyen, why!?!?!?!?!?

34. Do you like competition?
I used to think I lived for it. Now I just like it once in a while.

39. What are you going to do this weekend?
Willow Glen Track Invite, Guilnor's Cotillion, SLEEP, go to church, eat, breathe, sleep, feed my human.

40. Do you own a stereo that costs more than $100?
I love my Sennheiser eh-350 headphones but they weren't $100.

41. Has someone of the opposite sex ever told you they loved you, and meant it?
*Pops collar*

lol. no?

---

ADIOZ

Obtaining the doctor-recommended amount of sleep for teenagers...

2008-02-20T07:30:32Z

What an odd break from my lovely yet rather fatiguing condition of chronic malaise!

------

By the way, this is "Break Blog Take 2." (I back-space-blogocided again.)

------

Unfortunately, this break hasn't been the most outstanding of breaks; however, it's been ridiculously more outstanding than school. So here's a general breakdown - brought to you by all 8 of the fingers I use to type!

Bryan's House = Definitely the most outstanding part of break thus far due to massive basketball/guitar heroage. Banh made Daddy poud by turning 18. FWOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!

Piano = Practicing two hours a day. Can you say cooped-up? After the panel test on Saturday, I honestly don't know where I'm going to get my required dosage of incessant stress and deep-seated feelings of inadequacy. - Well, there's always calculus.

Speaking of which,

Calculus HW = ...... Finished!?!?!??!? Talk about making Daddy Poud!!! (Disclaimer: Defeating the insiduous demon of calculus hw took an immense display of BS that I only reserve for the most trying of times.)

Being an Only Child = My bro was camp-dizzling and my sister was... somewhere, thus leaving me to occupy my crib sibling-less. After experiencing this state for over 36 hours, I would recommend never to be an only child. Unless you have lots of engaging, productive things to occupy your time with (I don't.)

Love Life = Okay, first off, I know -- It's a running joke of my blog's to pretend like everything is going great when nothing is going at all. But this time, things are different. Let me explain how:

...

...

Ah, who am I kidding? .... DREW U I WILL PWN!

Track = Intense amounts of Sweetarts and discounted Valentine's candy = Intense bursts of energy followed by intense bursts of bodily system failure!! Plus I have a hamstring pull - WTF!??!?!?!??!!?!?!?!?!!?!?

Carnegie Hall Trip = We can not take this opportunity to bring the 408 to the streets of New York lightly, fellow South Bay-siders.

American Idol = Dude, Danny Noriega and skinny long-haired white boy have got some serious MANNING-UP to do! Forreals...

Mr. Hubbs = Encourages teens to download all the illegal music they can in order to send a message to studios that their ish is straight-up overpriced! FWOOOOOO!! (But if you must have legal, Amazon mp3 is like, the ish, man. serious. lose iTunes.)

-----

BLOGOCIDE OCCURANCE NUMBER TWO JUST OCCURED YET MIRACULOUSLY LIVEJOURNAL SAVED MY MANUSCRIPT FOR FUTURE GENERATIONS TO STUDY AND REVERENCE ~~~~ PRAISE DOUG ALMIGHTY ~~~~

----

I think Doug was trying to send me a message to stop writing.

Sure, Doug, my man.

Anything for you.

(Thend)

A Post...

2008-02-08T03:13:26Z

[Because I just couldn't have haikus as my most recent...]

Mitt Romney = quit.

My whole family now, not just yours truly, has decided that it likes Obama, except maybe my dad, that staunch old Republican. *EDIT* Even my dad think he's going to vote for Obama. wtf!?

But then again, I wonder if can we really trust a dude who sings "change" over and over without really presenting an end result?

Reminds me of the old Dodge slogan, "Different," which was unfortunately their slogan when they were building the crappiest of cars (pre-Charger/Magnum) I used to think, "Right, they are different because they are behind everyone else in pretty much everything: quality, reliability, and performance."

But at least Obama brings out sentiment, you root for him like you'd root for Boise State, or the Warriors. He plays the newcomer card, and is so charming that people don't even think about the issues when it comes to him. They think of him as an idealistic young man who is challenging the establishment, a brilliant kid who transcended the hood, and a dreamer who displays all that is good in the American Dream. Basically, the anti-Bush.

So, unlike Dodge, regardless of what kind of character and ability he might possess, Obama makes us feel good about ourselves.

Anyways, all I'm saying is that no matter who you're voting for, you've gotta be impressed with his marketing skills.

-Yo

Haikus!

2008-02-07T04:36:06Z

*Quick post*

This was a project for English, and a definite throwback to my days in the poetry club! There are two haikus for each season of the year.
If you're feeling emotionally tender, enjoy!

WINTER

Footprints in the snow.
Telling a fleeting tale, yet
Within moments, lost.

Nightfall. A thin strand
of smoke splits the frosty air.
Where is the warm fire?

FALL

Clinging to its branch,
The leaf waits. A gust of wind!
Then, stillness - not yet.

Three boys wish to swim.
Orange hills sink hearts. The pond
is surely too cold.

SPRING

Morning breaks - what's this?
The happy bee darts among
Young cherry blossoms.

The days grow longer.
No longer ashamed, the sun
Blesses wildflowers.

SUMMER

The heat melts away
and crickets begin to chirp.
A farmer heads home.

Games, mischief, and fun.
Children will remember these
hot evenings, and smile.

------

Regardless of how lame my poetry might be or how lame learning about Japan in English class is, I am pleased: Finally, an assignment with soul!

Now the challenge is finding a way to infuse calculus with soul...

...

Speaking of calculus:

Ms. Thieu: "When you put an answer, you must also put unit!" [ie meters, feet, second]

*points to something on overhead*

"Which unit is this!?"

James: "It's the G-Unit."

-----
-Jar3d

Redemption!

2008-02-03T01:31:33Z

My will to update regularly has begun to fizzle into nothingness already.... Unacceptable!! Therefore, Fighting feelings of irrepressible apathy, I shall still attempt a reasonable entry!!

----
----

Because of the recent and uncharacteristic touchy-feelyness displayed by this blog, especially regarding its new layout, it has resolved to produce a SPORTS-THEMED ENTRY in order to punish itself and regain some masculine credibility!!

[Announcer: This is a presentation of Yahopeless Sports!!]

Sport #1 Jared's Basketball life.

While playing basketball on Saturday mornings, Jared has come to realize how strained his connection to the spirit of His Airness has become. If he don't regain the ability to dunk again by the time POI starts its after-school games, he might be forced to take emergency action (steroids) ...

Sport #2 Jared's Track & Field life.

Recently running a nice race to make the 4x400 team, Jared's spirits should be high. Too bad, as a BVAL competitor in the 100 last year, he failed to even make the 4x100 team this year. Thus he is devastated, most likely hopelessly crushed in his heart and robbed of all energy and will to compete. Good thing the first meet is a month away, or a seppuku may have been ordered by the shogun! (Mr. Hubbs)

Commercial: Go to an EVHS track meet this year, you!

Sport #3 Jared's Martial Arts life.

After beating up both Bruce Lee and Chuck Norris with both arms tied behind his backs and wearing blindfolds, Jared is feeling good coming into today's matchup where he will defeat Brian Urlacher, Karl Malone, and the USC wrestling team at the same time. He has canceled his bout with Manny Pacquiao because he is convinced that Pacquiao can not be defeated by a mortal.

Sport #4 Jared's Weighlifting life.

Jared hopes to turn around his recent failed attempt at 45 lbs. bench press, and has been quoted as saying "I've repped 40 pounds three times in a row at practice and am confident that my upcoming attempt at 45 will be a turning point." Will the beseiged weightlifter come through in the face of this monumental challenge? Find out next Tuesday at 2:30 A.M., exclusively on Yahopeless Sports, KFEDTV!

Sport #5 Jared's Badminton life.

Jared was recently fined $3.50 by the World Badminton Battalion after hitting the birdie so hard that it was knocked unconscious. Playing in the European Circuit, where the net is opaque, has helped Jared's fortunes because he has see-through vision. However, getting his butt kicked by angry Romanian women after matches has not proven pleasant.

Commercial: You! Go to an EVHS track meet this year! (you might be glad you did, and that's a promise!)

--------

Hasta Pronto.
-Hota

You Are Apple, I Am Cherry

2008-01-30T04:58:18Z

You know, people are like pies.

We have tons of slices, and each one is different - some are very different - from the other.

We serve our slices to other people, most often unwittingly. And those people associate us with a certain flavor, while we associate one with them.

These "flavors" could be:
The person you flirt with.
The person you always tease.
The person you joke around with.

Most of the time, people have two or more:

The person who looks sort of creepy and is on the badminton team.
The person who is good at math, but people think is a jerk.
The person who is a slut, but is nice to you, though you think it's probably to seduce you.

Commonly, we know our closest acquaintances best:

The person I confide in, and is really cool, but sometimes pisses me off with lame jokes, but likes the same music I do, and is athletic, and we have a lot in common, and I know their birthday....

I'm just saying that it'd be great to know someone with whom you don't share one, or two, or forty slices with, but hundreds... thousands?

(aw, now wasn't that just kyoot?)

This be J-Dogg.
Peace up.